It was two years before Grandma came to see me, when she did send me delicious food each month. Yet I received just a share of what she sent me. Mom gave the rest or the greater portion to sister. One day, mom told me: "Grandma is coming to see you." At first, I thought I had a mistake in hearing. After making sure of the news, I was thrilled with joy. But mom warned me not to mention all her  maltreatment on me to Grandma. Or else she would never let me see Grandma. In words I pretended to obey her. But I thought in my mind, 'Just have your own illusion of the best. I will tell Grandma every bit of what you'd done to me.'

      Grandma came at last. She embraced me and asked: "Are you studying well? What have you learned?" I cried out and told her everything about my life in the last two years. After hearing what I said, Grandma was extremely angry. She bitterly scolded mom and dad. She questioned them: "Was it an easy matter for me to bring her up? Why did you treat her like that? I will take her away with me right now. You don't have to take her as your child. You don't have to worry about losing reputation." Grandma packed up my things and took me out of mom's home. Mom caught up and begged her to stay for a few days and talk something about me. But Grandma went with me straight to the railway station  without any hesitation or turning her head.

      While traveling back on the train, I asked Grandma why she did not come to see me. Grandma told me: "Your mom  wrote me a letter saying you were studying at school and refused me coming to see you. In the letter she wrote: 'I'm afraid that Mimi might ask to go back with you and that would not be good for her study.' That was the reason why I did not come to see you. In fact, I was thinking of you everyday. I did not know at all your mom was cheating me."

      Eventually, I left a place not worth recalling in my whole life and returned to Grandma's home. I heard a cat's "meo"  before I stepped into the house of Grandma's. I realized it was my Brownie waiting for me. I did not know she still remembered me after an absence of two years. I embraced and kissed her again and again. I thought, 'now finally I am back to this home of my day and night longings.'

      In the days when I became sensible, I liked to make drawings with my small wax crayons. But others could not recognize what I drew. Because, it was beyond my ability at the time to see everything clearly. I could only distinguish the different colors and the hazy shape of objects. But I liked the colorful world around me. When I was asked what to do when I grew up, I always answered: "I will be a painter when I grow up." Grandma had said to me time after time, "When seeing the kitten you have drawn and hearing you say: 'I would be a painter when I grow up,' tears dropped down many times in my heart. Then I had made up my mind to nurture you to become a capable person of self-support."

      Due to my failure in entering a school, Grandma started my education at home. She could read Chinese characters and  wrote characters in large size, so I could copy them. When we came to those characters with complicated configurations that presented more difficulties to my reading, she would put each of them on a separate piece of paper to make them more easily for me to see. Nevertheless sometimes I still could not read them at first. Then I would lose confidence in learning. Upon meeting with such difficulty, Grandma would ask me: "Didn't you want to become a painter in your earlier days? Why don't you learn to draw figures of Brownie in the way I taught you?"

      She bought crayons for me and taught me to learn painting while watching Brownie. At first the figures I made would not look like Brownie. Then Grandma advised me to observe more carefully on Brownie's postures. Then I spent much more time caressing Brownie. Sometimes Brownie lost her patience and scratched me. She must have felt that I had not been so disagreeable before. Why did I become disagreeable like this? I liked this kind of the cat's nature. She didn't like to be touched by people at will. She didn't like to be at the mercy of other people. After a certain period, my hands became full of Brownie's scratches. However, I also became familiar with Brownie's postures. I especially liked to see Brownie in her squatting position. Later, under Grandma's coaching, I finally learned to draw pictures of Brownie. Many people said my drawings were very much alike to the real cat. I was very happy. It was the first time I enjoyed the happiness of success from my efforts. Grandma said, "As long as you try hard, then nothing in the world would be too difficult. Since your eyesight can not be comparable to others, you can only try harder than other people before you can get your fruit."

      At my age of ten, I came to realize that I was not like the   others. I could not see many things visible to other people. But through my own efforts, I could do a lot that could not be done by other blind people. Therefore, whenever I met with difficulty, I would think of the words "There is not much difference between a normal person and me. I am sure I could do anything that a normal person could do through exerting more efforts."

      When I reached the age of twelve, I started to read  newspapers with the characters taught by Grandma. One day, I heard a news from Radio Beijing that there was a school for the blind in Beijing. I asked Grandma 'Could that  school take students like me?' Grandma said she did not know whether it was meant for the totally blind or not. I said if schoolmates were completely blind and could see nothing at all, I could see a little and help them. Grandma thought it possible to try but she did not have the address. She said we could go and try to find the school. I wrote a letter to Radio Beijing and asked for the address. The reply came after a few days with the location of the school at a place called "The Temple of Dinghui" Grandma looked at a map and told me the bus to go there. I asked her "Is it necessary for me to go there myself?" Grandma said "You should go for your own business." I thought "Why did Grandma rest confidence on my ability to go to a distant place all by myself?" I was a little unhappy. But Grandma insisted on having me go by myself.

      Even with full knowledge of the way to the school,  it would take two or more hours to go from our home to the School for the Blind, but it took two days for me to reach  the school. It was already three p.m. of the second day when I stepped into the gate of that school. I found that some of her students had better eyesight than mine. So I realized it was not a school only for the totally blind ones as I had thought to be. I really envied those pupils. I went to the dean's office and asked a teacher Miss Niu sitting there. I told her I came to the school to study. But she said: "Classes have already begun for a month." I asked to be placed in an appropriate class. She thought that I could not catch up with those classes already in procession. I said: "I have been doing self-taught studies for quite some time and I believe I can catch up." Teacher Niu asked me if I had studied Braille or not. I answered, "No, but I can write some characters." She told me that characters were not similar to Braille at all and took out a book printed in Braille. "What a large book!" I was caught in surprise. I opened the book and found it was printed by dots of convex and concave. I could not read it. It was my first acquaintance with Braille." How magnificent it was! How I was in want for studying of Braille! Then I   needn't to magnify the characters for reading any more." I asked Teacher Niu: "Could I come to study in this school next year?" She asked me: "Why don't you go and study in a school for children with normal eyesight?" I told her: "My Grandma had taken me to quite a number of schools and begged for enrollment. But we were refused at all by those schools because I could not see the blackboard. The teacher did not believe me and continued her questioning: "How did you come here alone if you could not see." I answered: "I came alone because Grandma had told me to come by myself." I tried my best to get her consent but failed. Finally she became impatient and said: "You must come next year to take part in an enrollment examination. I inquired: "Will  you accept me then?" But she refused to give me a reply. I walked out from the dean's office. Seeing the students all playing games on the playground, I was filled with discouragement. Why can't I see? Why can't I have the right to study? Why did dad and mom desert me? I just could not understand the reason for them. Merely at the age of twelve, I had already sustained everything that I should not sustain at that age! I returned home and told Grandma about what the teacher had said. Grandma told me to wait and try again the next year. I had not had my supper before I went to sleep with Brownie. Hearing Brownie's snoring, I thought if I had been a cat I would have no need for study and I would not have to worry about supporting myself when I grew up.  Although my name Mimi sounds similar to a cat's name, after all I am not a cat at all!"

      A few days later, I heard in a news broadcast about the China Disabled Persons' Federation. The president of that federation is Uncle Deng Pufang. I asked Grandma: "Do you think if Uncle Deng could help me to study in a school or not?" Grandma thought I could go and try. She found the address of the federation for me, but again insisted I must go and try myself. There was nothing else I could do. So I spent more than half a day to find it. Unfortunately Uncle Yu, the janitor said: "Uncle Deng is away." "Well, I'll come again tomorrow." I went there successively for three days. On the third day, UncleYu could not stop to ask me: "What do you want on earth to see him?" I told him that I would ask Uncle Deng to get in contact with the School for the Blind in order to help me enter and study at the school. UncleYu smiled and told me that Uncle Deng could not see me, but he introduced me to an aunt named Yang Wenjuan. Aunt Yang heard that I came all by myself. She thought it wonderful for a child of my age daring to approach Deng for help. A child like this could no doubt win a bright future. So she immediately wrote a letter to the school and assured me there would be no more difficulty left. I could enter the school next year. I returned home with joy to tell Grandma. Once more I tasted the success won through enough effort.

      Yet I did not relax. I heard in the news broadcast that a leading member of our national government Grandfather Xi Zhongxun was making investigations in some universities. I thought he must be concerned with educational affairs. So I wrote a letter in apple size characters to Grandpa Xi, begging him to help me enter a school. In a few days, his secretary sent me a reply saying my eager hope for school entrance  really moved them. They had written a letter to the school. There would be no doubt about my entrance for study at the school next year.

      But Grandma added, "All the primary schools in Beijing are under the administration of the Primary Education Department of Municipal Bureau of Education." So I went to the Primary Education Department by myself. Li Huiling, the deputy director of the department was moved by my insistence and wrote a letter to the school for the blind to my eye immediately. I obtained assurance again for my entrance to the school next year. The third letter I received helped me a lot in the end showing her certified result. I received a notice from the school in the year that followed before I went for registration. The notice informed me to start preliminary study of Braille at the school at first and start normal class in September.

      The age of thirteen should have been the age of a first year   student at high school. Nevertheless, I had wandered about for six years just because of my terrible eyesight at the age when the other kids attended primary schools with no worry. Only through much effort, I finally won a chance to study at school. In a sense,  the entrance to school might be considered as having my wish fulfilled. I had no complaint on fate's unjustness. In the past six years I had learned a lot that could not be given in classrooms. I learned to be strong. I learned to exert every effort. I learned to fight for a path against fate. Though, I had stepped over the threshold of a   school when I was already thirteen years old, I would strive to win back the time lost. I considered the fate had been just to me. I was confident that on account of my exertions, I would overcome all difficulties.

      With the commencement of our school, I started my study in grade three. In my first semester, my study was somewhat difficult since I had learned only a few characters in Chinese before. I did not know what the examination meant. For my first exam, I only copied the questions and forgot to write  the answer. I was given a mark of 48 for the exam owing to some kind considerations from my teacher. In the   mid-semester examination, I got marks of seventy for both Chinese and mathematics. At this time, however, I was not a  blind child helpless anymore. I had already developed into a life-tried, clever and perseverant girl. Such difficulties as those in front of me could not present any hindrance to me. Through continued efforts, I won a mark of ninety-eight for Chinese and a full mark for mathematics at the end of the semester. In the second semester, I was elected to be one of the class cadres for study.

      With the time passed on, our teacher discovered my strong points. I was interested in music; familiar with program hosting and line drafting for actors, etc. I was elected to be one of the class cadres on culture and arts, in the period from grade four to my graduation. I learned to play several musical instruments, including the Chinese two-string bowed instrument with which I made performances in the embassy of USA to Beijing. I learned to play the accordion and won a third-class award in the instrument performance contest in our school. I learned to play the electronic organ which I played in performances staged in the Cultural Center of East Region in Beijing Proper. I learned to show beating drums  and was a member playing it in our school orchestra. Through my efforts, I got harvests time and again, which  paved my road to grow up.

      With the elapse of time, I grew up to the age of eighteen. One Saturday, when I had an appointment of going for a visit, Grandma called me on the phone and told me to go home as soon as possible. She usually wanted me to keep any promise made. But this time she asked me to explain to the schoolmates that I could not go with them and had to return home sooner. I was somewhat reluctant to break our appointment. Suddenly however, I thought of Brownie. She had been sick for several weeks. Could there be anything  happened to her? I did not dare to think about it. I hurried home in haste. Grandma told me that brownie was waiting for me. Then I saw brownie lying motionless in her den. I held her up in my arms and found she had lost much weight and looked very bony. Grandma said: "She had not taken any food for several days. She had been staring all the time and seemed just waiting for you." Brownie also seemed to be willing to speak to me. But she did not have the strength to sound out. My tears dropped on seeing Brownie in agony. I said: "Brownie, you must not die. You are my only friend in my childhood. You have been in my company over thirteen years. I can not see you away." Yet Brownie slowly died away while I cried at her. Sadly I still held her for quite some time because it was difficult for me to part with the dear friend. Grandma told me a story saying: "Cats' lives could be at most ten odd years. Legends told of cats'  unwillingness to die at home and would go up hills before  dying. They became leopard cats there. I put Brownie in a cardboard case, covered her with my pretty handkerchief with the pattern of a cat's face. I also placed the food she loved beside her and carried the case to a park. I buried the case under a low hill in the park adjacent to the playground  where I would go swinging. Brownie could be easily seen when I swung high.

      I stayed there and cried out for minutes, mourning at the loss of the dearest friend in my childhood. I wondered why there could be eternal parting like that in the world? I grieved over that parting with my dear friend. Brownie had never discriminated against me. She had no dislike for my blindness. Even though my blindness had caused me to step on her by mistake, she had never borne any hate on me. Gradually she learned to avoid getting into my way when she saw me coming. She never had any trouble with others. Once finished eating, she just stayed aside, watching the world around her with her eyes wide open. I had never thought that Brownie could vanish from my life. I could never forget the only friend of mine in my childhood. I  decided not to raise another cat anymore. Because, in spite of all my tenderness provided, a cat could not avoid a death in my presence. I started to collect false cats except for animals, in the hope to have a number of various cats a few decades later. I looked over all my belongings at home and found the porcelain cat that Grandpa bought me when I was 5 years old. 'Just take it as the first one,' I thought.

      Grandma said to me: "Mimi, very soon you would be eighteen years old. You have grown up at last. You might meet many partings and reunions on your life's trail in  future. You must learn to bear everything!"